Subconscious anxiety… Where does it come from and how can I deal with it…

The worst stress is the stress of not being stressed! But there is another aspect, less visible, insidious, a little beyond what our senses hear in the here and now, the subconscious anxiety.

The man who is afraid to suffer, already suffers from what he fears.

Subconscious anxiety feeds fears in the person, for this reason he often rejects the existence of anxiety in his life, denies it, internalizes it, drowns it inside himself for a long time.

Subconscious anxiety as a ‘camouflage’ of the true self.

They are people who want to maintain their sense of pride, the image of their omnipotence, their independence, the idea that they are unbending and enduring.

Here, selfishness may speak outwardly, but there is a hidden insecurity. These people will hardly seek help because they will feel vulnerable and do not realize when they are reaching their limits, ignoring the signs.

They have a tendency to push themselves more and more in order to prove that they always succeed, setting themselves repeated deadlines, as if they are taking exams every day. An internal competition with oneself.

• Is it the belief that I shouldn’t let others down?
• Is it the anxiety of what they will think of me?
• Is it the hunt for the perfect?
• Is it the fear of rejection or failure?
• Are repressed emotions breaking out?

All of these may be true. Everything that may have taken hold in us as ingrained beliefs about ourselves, others, the world around us, and automatically emerges as feelings and behaviors, without us processing it.

Subconscious anxiety is anxiety that we don’t know why it occurs to us. We feel anxiety or similar symptoms while everything in our life may seem to be going well. We cannot make sense of it. And when something can’t be explained based on how we are in the present, maybe it would be helpful to take a deeper look at ourselves

How is subconscious anxiety built in us?

This stress builds up in us progressively. It often has childhood as its source. It accumulates, it can be repelled consciously or unconsciously, it flows through us and as long as we don’t touch it, we don’t understand it, we don’t bother to evaluate our life, what is wrong with us and we are stressed, that stress will grow and manifest itself in symptoms coming to surface.

We often attribute this stress to external factors, (eg circumstances are to blame, others are to blame, work is to blame). Excuses, even if not intentional, come wrongly to restore the truth. The excessive preoccupation with work, the dependent relationship with the partner, the woman who is ‘married to her kitchen’, are common ways of avoiding a real inner stress.

Man, however, cannot live for years with buried emotions, with underground anger, disappointments, sadness, repressed, guilt, unfulfilled desires, that’s why we feel at some point something awakens inside us, a rebellion takes place, as we experience in panic attacks, phobias, depression.

The symptoms of subconscious anxiety can manifest in a variety of ways.

Feelings

Sadness, melancholy, low mood

Lack of interest

Intense anger

Disappointment

Feeling lonely

Nervousness – inability to relax and enjoy

Dysthymic mood, i.e. periods where joy alternates with sadness.

Behavior

Tendency to isolate

Irritability

Increased/Decreased appetite for food

Difficulty sleeping

Inability to organize schedule and time

Compulsions

Avoidance of situations or people

Habits such as nail biting, fast pacing or nervousness in movements, hair pulling, preoccupation with facial features eg pimples, scars.

Use of alcohol, drugs, smoking aimed at relief

Escape tendencies – impulsivity

Physical symptoms

Muscle tension

Gastrointestinal problems

Skin diseases

Indigestion

Difficulty breathing

Feeling tired

Motion sickness

Dizziness

Decreased sexual desire/libido

Tachycardia, arrhythmias

Plaque on the chest

Cognitive functions

Inability to concentrate

Memory problems

Attention Deficit

Automatic anxious thoughts

Focusing mainly on negative stimuli

Decreased judgment

Difficulty making decisions

Procrastination

Subconscious anxiety can also lead to heightened mental dysfunction in the individual, manifesting:

Panic attacks

Social anxiety

Fears

Compulsions

Depression (years most often)

Addictive behaviors (workaholism)

Psychosomatic diseases (irritable bowel)

Dysthymia

If you feel similar symptoms, without being able to interpret them, first clarify whether they are the result of an organic disorder or side effects of substances or drugs.

So, anxiety may knock on our door at a given moment, but it feeds on us for years. It grows slowly. Let’s not forget that every person has a unique story and path behind them. The severity and intensity of stress and the forms it can take in life depend on what the individual experiences and how they experience it. With the personality he has, the past and the traumas he carries, the beliefs he has about himself.

What are the reasons for the existence of subconscious anxiety?

Let’s think of situations or experiences where we were denied the right to be ourselves. Who we are, with our personal wants, desires and needs.

When we wanted to do something but we did something else, which burdens us, troubles us and gets in the way of our happiness and satisfaction with life. Let’s think about the many ‘yes’ we’ve said, which were actually ‘no’.

Every need that we have pushed away, that we have put aside or things that we have hidden from ourselves, as if they never happened, we may have buried them, but they have an underground energy. An energy that wants to be expressed and satisfied. She asks us to get in touch with her.

Perhaps, the excessive anxiety we have been instilled in us towards the duty not to disappoint others, to protect them by making self-sacrifices and concessions regardless of what we want.

Perhaps low self-esteem, the feeling that I am not worthy, not loved, not wanted by others, that I am inferior, give rise to the fear of abandonment, rejection and failure. So we depend on others because we fear being alone, we believe we deserve to suffer, we chase perfection so as not to show weakness, we fear being judged or we feel that only by obeying the will of others will we be liked and accepted.

Many people with low self-esteem either become reactive or submissive types. But this anxiety arises from deep-rooted beliefs that have been formed during the first years of childhood and the relationship with parents.

Many of the psychological problems signal the repressed desire for pleasure and spontaneity. An anxious person has trapped himself in internal prohibitions, in specific ‘shoulds’ and restrictions.

They are people who grew up in a repressed, strict, deprived, overprotective, avoidant and phobic environment, stigmatizing childhood.

Nothing limits us more than our thoughts and feelings about ourselves.

Unexpressed feelings never die.

We must understand that the only things in this life that limit us are not others, but our thoughts and feelings. Also, we tend to believe what we think and feel about ourselves, without them being real facts. We say that even our actions incriminate who we are. To an extent it may be true. But to open such a conversation we should ask ourselves how we define who I am. It’s different what we see on the outside than what we are.

What factors perpetuate subconscious anxiety?

So, without realizing it, we adopt avoidance behaviors and behaviors that create security for us away from what worries us and scares us.

For some reason fear rules our minds and we underestimate our strengths. We tolerate unpleasant situations, we succumb to the pressures of others, because we are afraid of losing something that we consider important to us.

Many women for example feel the victim in their relationships. They feel that the man has the upper hand, belittles her, gives her responsibilities that may not concern her, perhaps exercises an authority. Women who put up with it, even if they know they are not happy in such a relational context, put up with it because they may fear loneliness if they break up or because they may be financially dependent on the man.

We also avoid because we know it will hurt. But the pain of avoidance within us is worse. For example, commitment anxiety in relationships may mean the fear of possible rejection/abandonment or that the person will be hurt and disappointed again. Therefore, by avoiding what can potentially hurt him in the long run, he puts up barriers, limits himself, closes his heart giving the illusion that he is now fine, he is in control of his emotions reducing the possibility of being hurt again.

But our fears poison our every inner need. They trap us in ideas and thoughts that cease to have logic and imagination prevails. Irrational thoughts, disproportionate to reality, entering a mental game of self-doubt. By making ourselves comfortable or avoiding situations, it is as if we significantly reduce our expectation of happiness.

We “don’t change”, but we regain the lost connection with ourselves.

Whatever mental state we are experiencing (depression, anxiety, panic attacks), it is good not to fall into the trap of thinking that I have to change.

To change means what? Should I be someone else? Healthier? More functional?

The truth is that whenever we face a mental health issue, like subconscious anxiety in this case, and make a decision to manage it, we do so to get in touch with our true selves. With the hidden power within us. To reconnect with every neglected aspect of ourselves. We have a stable core within us, which many around can be distorted, neglected, not developed in a healthy, functional way (beliefs, needs, self-esteem, values).

In these we are called to intervene so that the person understands what is happening to him and why and finally acquiring skills and tools to manage everything that troubles him.

Observe yourself impartially.

Do not try to ignore any warning sign that our body sends us or that worries us about ourselves. Because it’s like we’re drowning ourselves in the void.

Observe your body, evaluate the reliability of your thoughts, why you feel the way you do, because there are times when you may have accumulated anxiety, but deep down you are suspicious of why you are anxious. You can incorporate the calendar into your routine. Write down the disturbing thoughts, what worries you, what frustrates you, what you feel, what situations stress you, what you could have thought of instead, in order to achieve a deeper understanding of what is happening to you. Reveal yourself to yourself.

When you make such an effort it can be difficult to put your ego aside, to admit that you too may have been responsible in a situation, to think that you are putting yourself down by what you write, but awareness is what sets you free. and subsequently the management of all that affects us.

If you feel like you can’t cope, that stress has overwhelmed you, if you have persistent worries and fears that affect you in your daily functioning, don’t hesitate to seek the help of a mental health professional.

So it’s time not only to set the terms of the game, but also to enjoy it.